The view's so pretty From the deck of a sinking ship

 drawing daryan again and thought “hey surely his artwork makes it clearer what his ring is supposed to be” and it does! it’s a snake’s head for some reason. and more importantly: HE WEARS AN ID BRACELET??? and it’s basically impossible to see in the original ds resolution and obscured by his sleeves in all but 2 sprites basically. i need to know what’s engraved on this damn bracelet why the hell did they add that !!! amazing and i love it….

omggg my friends and i get together to play through various ace attorney cases on discord on a weekly basis and it’s now the third time in 3 years we’re playing turnabout serenade. which means my obsession with this case i has been kicked into full gear again and now im in the process of working on my klavdarpollo fic for the case and redrawing my references for my gavinners ocs (and daryan & klavier alternate outfits) in a MORE complicated way. i’ve got big plans to turn them into paper doll-esque dress up figures so i can change them into whatever i want …… and i can’t help but think this is going to take me several billion years. 

potentially misleading subject, but at least for a short period i’ve been able to write and draw. hopefully the fact i had like 300mgof caffeine in the evening yesterday and pulled an all nighter doesn’t have to be a requirement for productivity.

anyways, yesterday i wrote an unknowable word count by hand in an old notebook for just some silly one shot i came up with on the spot. i have no clue how many words it is but it’s about 7 medium sized notebook pages uhhh??? feels like it could be anywhere from 1000 to like 5k frankly. it’s really hard to assess what i did when my hand kept cramping up. i’m really out of practice writing by hand i should probably do that more often. i maybe could work on the rest now since i have the vague ideas for the last few scenes written down, but i’m also pretty tired from the not sleeping in 2 days thing.

anyways after that during the night, i drew some sonic the hedgehog fan art since all my friends were and i just saw the movie (…twice) and that turned out pretty cute i think!!! although i really need to practice the sonic characters more if i plan on drawing them like. at all after this… it’s hard ! i don’t remember how to embed images on my phone though. so. i’ll come back and edit that in later…

anyways, i’m excited! it’s an almost-christmas-means-it-wasn’t-christmas miracle i guess !!! i am pretty sad that since i have no laptop now, i either have to borrow one to type this up, or i have to do it on my phone. but i really hate capitalization on this thing….. and not being able to see a whole page at once drives me nuts. maybe i’ll ask my sister to borrow hers.

edit for drawing yay:



basically my friends were all drawing their favorite sonic characters in their clothes, so i did it too. yippee! also a fun thing i just. have not shared on here is that i have the iconic 2017 sanei stuffed apollo justice and i like to take him places with me to take pictures and stuff. so amy got a little chao version.
 
here’s mine in all his glory…. and with a coat and scarf for winter. as of february i will have had him 2 years…. my single most expensive ace attorney merch he was like 300$ and worth every penny. anyways yeah that’s all okay bye bye 

 omg i'm alive !!!! i have 18 notifications on here of posts i've missed which is strangely daunting... i haven't even been gone that long, my anxiety is just out of whack lately. i'll catch up on those in small doses.... 

anyways, in a positive note !! i passed all my tests and have officially graduated and gotten my diploma! which is stressful in other ways tbh, but gratifying at least.

i haven't written anything other than some ideas in my notes app, but i'm hoping one of them could make a good oneshot or something. i care wayyy too much about my chaptered fic to be writing it when my heart isn't in it so hopefully doing something else will be a good push to get into the swing of things without stressing over making it perfect. 

i've also not drawn a ton, but have done more of that than writing. i've got a sketch for klavdarpollo to finish and a klapollo drawing that just needs lighting added and i like those a lot. i also drew a decent amount of oc and character design stuff for other things i like but havent finished any of those either. the fact i ran out of adhd meds might just factor into the long line of incomplete projects i'm leaving in my wake. hm...

i think i’m going to go insane if i spend one more day not getting anything done. i’m so creatively blocked in every area it’s driving me crazy!!! i started another klavdarpollo drawing that looks good so far but i wasn’t enjoying drawing it and i don’t want to make art that doesn’t bring me any joy. writing is the same problem. i’m not sure what to do about it when just giving myself time to relax and not pressuring myself isn’t getting me anywhere. i’ve been finding other hobbies and focusing on other activities and usually i eventually come back to some form of art! but i’ve been feeling so bleh since may and inspiration on motivation only comes and goes in short bursts. i tried even drawing totally different subjects and interests of mine and that was fun for about 3 minutes before it just felt like Getting A Task Done again. 

i guess at least this has been somewhat productive for me in other areas ? i learned to play the pokémon card game and started playing several other video games and have started reading some of the mangas my friends recommended. i just wish doing those other things felt fulfilling instead of like something i’m doing to pass the time until i can be the person that i normally am, that i actually like, again. 

 SOOOO irritated right now... things have finally gotten less busy but then new stuff pops up short notice... and then even when it doesn't i'm having the worst creative block ever right now. maybe it stems from not finishing my fanfic in the timeline i had but ugh. now i'm struggling to write or draw anything at all. 

however! i did take my adhd meds today so hopefully i can force some writing to happen. maybe i'll jump to a later chapter. i don't know... sadly my adhd meds make it really hard to focus on reading so i can't even try to get inspired that way. there's so much klavdarpollo happening on ao3 and it's killing me to have not read it all. 

 well! after a week of resting and trying to speedrun recovery, i'm definitely still going to be sniffling at the show i'm going to. luckily it's not covid or anything intense, but it sure is annoying. 

and i'm also just pretty fed up with rest! i don't like sitting around doing nothing. it just feels like i wasted a ton of time i could have spent writing or at least working on the outline!!! and now everything's getting a lot busier as we get closer to halloween. there's no way i finish the fic this month, but i think if i can manage it in november i'll be happy enough. albeit a little disappointed. currently i'm watching a movie with my friends over discord, so that's not helping me get much writing done either. but hopefully when it ends i will.

 ughhhhhh so. i don't think i've mentioned it here at all beyond mentioning my family, but i currently live at home with my parents and sister, and that's all well and good (not really, but you know,) but my mom works from home running a daycare that i sort of work at too? not formally as a job but? i get paid. so i guess it is! anyways. my bedroom is shared with my sister and wayyy to small to do anything in so basically. i was way too ambitious thinking i could get any beading done the other day. you really just can't have a bunch of choking hazards out with toddlers, and I was insane to think i'd be awake enough to do it in the evening. 

shout out to the housing prices in my area, it'd be lovely to move out before i turn 40. 

regardless of all that, i'm just gonna try to write today i think. no point on dwelling on the stuff i just cannot logistically do. hopefully i can do some drawing tomorrow, before i'm busy again saturday. 

 if anyone recalls my to-do list from the other day, you may be happy to hear i did finish basically everything on that list. except for the mention of drawing klavier’s shoes, which i finished just now. yay! 


here’s the drawing in question. im happy with it so far but my god it was a struggle. and i anticipate trying to do the background will be a struggle too. klavier…. why is your office like that? i also had to get out the shoes i bought to cosplay apollo last year to take a picture of them on the floor. which i still dont think is at the right angle… but its close enough! they’re also women’s shoes but yk… his shoes do have heels and they're a different height and style in every official artwork. so maybe these are fine.

also… im just noticing the shadow by klavier’s shoe is wrong… need to fix that. shading is so confusing why do i always do this to myself omg. anyways. now that that’s done i still need to finish my commission work. especially because a preorder just opened for a posable apollo justice art doll, who i will need. obviously. 

typing all this on my ipad instead of my laptop so please ignore the typos i cant be bothered to fix them

 i've been thinking i want to upload a little portion of my current wip fic but i'm not sure which part. the part that seems the most fun is kind of important, so i'm not sure if it should stay a surprise for the finished fic. i dont know. i'm also still not even sure how to refer to it beyond my ghost fic. maybe i should work that out so i can make a dedicated tag and then post something.